A Simple Way to Make Your Wedding Day More Meaningful
Spoiler: It’s not the venue, the dress, or the flowers
Let me just say it plainly, your wedding day will be filled with beautiful moments, but nothing hits quite like the part where you actually speak your wedding vows. But if you’ve been wondering how to write unique wedding vows that feel like you, you’re not alone. I’ve stood behind the camera for a lot of “I do’s,” and if there’s one thing that consistently gets everyone in their feels, it’s the vows. When couples speak their wedding vows in their own words, you can feel the shift. It’s the moment guests lean in. And honestly, it’s the one thing people keep talking about for the rest of the day.
Now, no pressure. You don’t have to write your own wedding vows. But if you’re even slightly curious, stay with me. Because this one choice is simple, free, and can shift your entire ceremony from “nice” to “we’ll never forget that.”
Why Your Wedding Vows Matter More Than You Think
Your wedding vows aren’t just another box to tick on the to-do list. They’re not a script you have to perform. They’re a chance to tell your person what this marriage means to you, in your own voice. That’s rare. That’s powerful. Traditional vows are totally fine. But personal ones hit differently. They sound like your story. They reflect your quirks, your connection, and your actual relationship, not some vague idea of what love is supposed to sound like. And here’s the beauty. You don’t have to be a “writer” to pull this off.
How to Write Unique Wedding Vows (without freaking out)
Let’s make this easy. Writing your own vows doesn’t have to be a grand literary exercise. It just needs to feel true. Here’s a great place to start:
- Get out of wedding-planning mode for a second
Take a break from all the wedding admin stuff. Sit down somewhere quiet. Remember why you’re doing this. That headspace is where the good stuff lives. - Make a list, not a speech
Start small. Jot down memories, promises, things you admire, inside jokes. You’re not writing a TED Talk. You’re collecting ingredients. - Write it like a letter
Pretend you’re writing a note your partner will find in their bag, on a morning when they need a reminder of how much they’re loved. Now build from that. - Keep it short, but honest
There’s no rule that says you need to speak for five minutes. Some of the most impactful wedding vows I’ve heard are just a few honest lines. Say what you mean. That’s enough. - Practice (but don’t memorise)
Read them out loud a few times. Not to perfect them, but to make sure they sound like you. You want to feel familiar with the words, not robotic. I’ve often seen couples stumble mid-sentence or ad-lib a phrase in the moment, going completely off script and honestly, it’s magic. It sounds so real, so them. That’s what people remember and it’s what I remember and I’m just the photographer lol.
Writing your own vows doesn’t have to be a grand literary exercise. It just needs to feel true.
Real Talk: Wedding Guests Remember This Part
Nobody’s going to recall what colour the napkins were. But they will remember the crack in your voice when you promised to always leave the light on. They’ll talk about the way you looked at each other. The moment it all got real. Your guests aren’t there for a performance. They’re there for you. And when you speak your wedding vows in your own words, it gives everyone permission to feel something real.
The Quiet Alternative Nobody Talks About: Private Vows.
Some couples are ok with standing at the altar, reading their wedding vows in front of everyone. But others not so much. If the thought of saying something that personal in front of a crowd makes you want to bolt, private vows might be your thing.
I’ve photographed a bunch of these lately and honestly, they’re some of my favourite moments. Without the eyes of your guests on you, people soften. They let go. They say the stuff they might hold back otherwise. And it’s beautiful. You can sneak them in during your first look, or grab a quiet pocket of time while we’re off doing portraits. I can tell you from behind the camera that those moments hit different. The air changes. The nerves drop away. It’s just the two of you, and you can actually feel it in the photos afterwards.
Every time I deliver a gallery with private vow shots, couples tell me it’s one of the parts they keep coming back to. The best bit is that there’s no audience, no microphones, no pressure. Just you, your person, and words that matter.
Don’t Aim for Perfect. Aim for Real.
Just as a helpful reminder, you don’t need fancy language. You don’t need to make people cry (although, fair warning: they might). You just need to say what’s true for you. This is your moment to speak your heart. And whether your wedding vows are whispered in private or shared in front of everyone, they’ll be yours. That’s what makes them powerful. So if you’re wondering how to write unique wedding vows, start with this: write like you’re talking to your person. No performance. No pressure. Just real words from a real heart. And honestly, that’s what people remember.
The Takeaway
At the end of the day, your wedding vows are the heart of the ceremony. They don’t have to be perfect, they just have to be yours—short, messy, funny, tear-filled, whatever feels real. Whether you share them in front of everyone or keep them private, they’re the moment where everything else fades, and it’s just you and your person promising a life together. And that’s what gives your wedding its weight, its meaning, and its memory.
Planning a wedding is a lot, and if you’ve made it this far, you already know it’s not just about one day; it’s about all the little choices that make it feel like your day. If you found this helpful, have a look around my other blogs HERE. I’ve put together plenty of tips, stories, and honest advice from a photographer’s perspective to help you cut through the overwhelm and plan a wedding that feels good, not just looks good.
